Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
