I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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