was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning