is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud