We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.