I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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