You're so nebulous sometimes
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
