We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
