Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
