we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
