thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
