Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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