I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
