I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
