Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
