Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
