If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
