Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
