Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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