So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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