just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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