You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
