What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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