Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
