I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
