I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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