Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
