She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
