Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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