You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
