where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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