I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
