Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
