Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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