just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
