Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
