Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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