Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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