idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
