This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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