I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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