Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
