I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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