Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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