Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
