i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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