summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
