Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize