We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize