I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
