In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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