she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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