she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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