peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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