My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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