You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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