If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
