FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
